I instantly know what you're all thinking. "Wow! He's added a table of weekly stats to the newsletter! How does he do so so much with so so little time??" Well my friends lets just say I'm a generous monarch, I strive to keep you, my constituents, happy. That, and I got mad at trying to run queries for the data on my own so I wanted to automate it while writing these up for you. Win, win, right?? Next week will be perhaps the biggest tech update of the year coming your way... buckle up.

Week 2 is Through!

The Standings

The field of the undefeated, and the field of the defeated, slims to three each. Nathan has continued his absolute domination and becomes an early favorite for playoff contention, while Ethan loses a second straight tight game to fall to 0-2. Joe, bless his heart, may not find the win column this season if he keeps running into buzzsaws, and Clark managed to uphold justice by beating a Garrett team that still has yet to do anything to his lineup. Him going 2-0 would have been an almost irrecoverable stain on this league.

Stats Stats Stats

With three teams sitting at 2-0, maybe we should look to these kings of the diamond for insight on how they expertly (and handsomely) practice their craft. Nathan, for example, has leaned heavily onto pitching, getting 72 IP this week to put his total on the season at 156, that's just over 17 games. Contrast that to Joe, who at 0-2 has league-low 103 IP, almost 6 fewer games of innings. Now, it likely doesn't help that, in those 103 innings, Joe has a league-worse 5.24 ERA vs Nathan's 3.28, so its a bit of quality and quantity game there.

Contrast that to Jake (the handsomest and expertest 2-0 owner) and Xan (another person). Jake and Xan averaged about 47 IP this week, with low 4s ERA. Nothing to write home (or you all) about. But they both had the top two batting averages and OPS on the week. Well technically Xan had the best but I WAS CLOSE. Does that mean we have some sleeping giants at 0-2? Joe is actually leading the league in batting average with .273. Garrett and Seb both have sub-3 ERAs. How much do the records reflect roster talent, vs lucky timing at this point in the season?? Only time will tell...

Recaps

Nathan 328 - 213 John Luke

John Luke didn't reaalllyy deserve to win this week anyways, he put up the 2nd lowest score in the league. Even if he'd done better though, Nathan is just too much right now. For the 2nd time in as many weeks in our young season, Nathan has put up a record for points. When normalized per day, Nathan averaged 46.9 points, which is even higher than he did last week. That's despite John Luke getting an extra pitching start, he went into Sunday with 7 and had two pitchers starting, both which counted for him. Unfortunately for JL, one of those starts was -14 from Andrew Abbott. Nathan, I hope you're happy that Gunner Henderson is contributing to both the Orioles and your team. Nathan will stake his undefeated record on a matchup vs Clark this week, while John Luke will stake his winless record against Seb.

Clark 280 - 223 Garrett

Ahhhh yes all is right with the world again. Clark had 15 players break 10 points this week, 5 over 20, led by Cub's 2B Nico Hoerner who went 10-28 with a dinger and 7 RBIs this week for 28 points. Our beloved 3B Austin Riley also put up 20 points to the cause. This game was actually super close entering the weekend, only a 7 point game after Friday, but 81 points for Clark on Saturday buried Garrett, who has still not touched his team. Garrett you don't know how sad this makes me. Poor Logan Gilbert is just working his heart out for you, putting up 36 points this week, and its all for naught. So sad. Well Gare, you've got 2-0 Xan this week. At this point your lack of management is impacting ME, so yeah lets get it together.

Jake 280 - 224 David

David prematurely shot his load of pitching starts. He took an early lead in this matchup off that which sustained through Friday, but the tides turned on Saturday when Jake outscored David 54-8 and sailed to victory from there to join the 2-0 club. Missing out on the starts hurt David, as he didn't reap the rewards for the 37 points that Peralta and Skubal combined for on Sunday. I feel fairly confident in saying that Jose Soriano is the greatest pitcher in Angels history. 15IP and 20K this week has me ready to build him a shrine. Jake now sits at 692 points on the season, which somehow is still dwarfed by Nathan's 842, but good for 2nd in the league. But my personal favorite moment moment of the week was getting see Dom Smith launch a homer in to the Chop House in person. He'll try to keep the high scoring going vs Joe this week as the race to stay undefeated begins, while David will try to get back on the winning side of things vs Ethan.

Joe 208 - 265 Seb

Seb, an inspiration to us all, proves that yes, it is indeed possible to change. Unfortunately he didn't personally change, no, but his fantasy strat did change. Lots of roster management this week, and wow did it pay off. That lineup management was good for almost 10 extra points per day compared to last week. The highlight of Seb's team was James Wood, the Nats OF that's currently sitting as the top OF in fantasy, and his 3 dingers and 8 RBIs on the week for 47 points. Joe does not get the same credit. Now that Seb is on the lineup game, Joe is the one not setting his lineup (though he's still doing better than fuckin GARRETT). I haven't been logging it per week, but I'm fairly confident Joe didn't do any management this week, so you know what Joe? I'm GLAD you lost.

Xan 257 - 254 Ethan

Man... 2 brutal losses in a row for Ethan to start the year 0-2. This game was super tight all week, no team having a larger lead than 11 since Wednesday. Ethan even ran out of starts by Sunday, but that worked out for him because he didn't have to eat Max Scherzer's -14 points. This game saw 5 players break 30 points, only 1 of which was a pitcher. Elly De La Cruz had 37, 10 points of which came from 5 stolen bases, and stupid dumb Bryce Harper for 32 on a 10-19 week. Ethan is sitting here with the 5th most points, but 0-2. That is rough, but plenty of time to right the ship as he turns his attention towards fellow UGA Terry-man David. Xan gets to play Garrett, who is dangerously close to being labeled a Marlins-like team that will just an auto-win.

The Mark De Rosa "I'm Bad at My Job" Award

This week we humbly accept the MDIBAMJA on behalf of one of our own, Jonah Heim. Down 3-0, 2 outs in the to top of the ninth, you'd think "ok get out of this inning and get a rally going in the bottom of the ninth, no biggie." Well Jonah Heim, this is not how you get out of the inning.
Come on Jonah. Do better.

Sports: In the Real World

Sports note

• Braves: Good week for the Bravos, 4-2 with a series win @ the Angels and another one in Atlanta vs the Guardians. The Braves haven't lost a series yet this season, and sit tied with the Padres with the 2nd-best record in baseball. The best when you don't count the Dodgers, which you shouldn't.
• Red Sox: A 3-3 record for the Sox this week didn't do much to help them gain ground on the Yankees/Rays/Orioles fight for the top of the division, but fortunately for the Sox all of the AL is between 6-9 and 9-7, very level playing field here early. John Luke's precense at games is important as the team is 1-0 this year with him in the seats.
• Orioles: A GREAT week for the Orioles, as they earn a sweep of the White Sox in Chicago and a series win at home vs the Giants. 5-1 on the week pushes them to 8-7 and tied for first in a tight AL East race. Taylor Ward is batting .356 here halfway through April, and while the man doesn't rip dingers he's getting on base at a .443 clip and produced 41 points for David's team.