Man NFL is not making this easy on me. A 10PM MNF game? How is a man to turn around material to you, my hungry hungry hippos? Well a man is expected to, and a man does. Eat well, my kings of Tuesday morning.

Monday Night Lights

Two MNF games, great right? No actually it sucks becasue all you little larks had players and the matchups were pretty competitive. Nathan-Tmo, Collin-TK, and Austin-Ryan all came down to the last game, and on top of that there were two Top 5 points up for grabs that Jake, Tmo, and Garrett were all vying for. So my options, write up a recap that claims I went 2-0 on the week, and risk the crippling shame of having to delete it, or hold off and write it in the morning. Hmmm... Guess that's for you guys to ponder on. Gotta say though, some great games in both college and the pros this week. Loving that football is back boys.

Recaps

John Luke 114.84 - 122.54 Jake

A garbage time 10-yard touchdown to an otherwise completely worthless Dylan Sampson was the difference here. This game was the only one completly done by Sunday night, and Jake eked out a win thanks primarily to 36.5 from 1st overall pick JaMarr Chase. Jake, who ties the all-time series 13-13 with the win, had a very similar lineup overall to John Luke, just a different method to the madness. Both QBs did poorly, Burrow as a result of leaving the game in the 1st and Hurts as a result of the Eagles offense being bad. Both teams defenses did well, each earning a defensive touchdown, and each had one big outing, Chase for Jake and Jonathan Taylor (31.5) for John Luke. Unfortunatley the dust didn't settle over a JL dub, and he'll drop to 0-4 on the season, while Jake finds balance back to 2-2 (yay it happened! Thanks Baker).

Nathan 86.48 - 128.78 Tyler

This game lasted until 3:00 AM or whenever the hell that game ended, I certainly didn't watch. Though it was effectively over well before then. Depth was the name of this game, no real game-breakers in terms of outings, but consistent, solid play from the whole lineup helped Tmo notch a 2-0 weekend. The reality of starting two players from the Falcons-Vikings game, a game that at one point had seen seven FGs and no TDs, made for a lack of production from TJ Hockenson and Drake London that was hard to make up for when the rookie Jeanty also had a down night. Nathan's team just didn't have it this weekend, even with the most optimal lineup he wasn't going to win, so chin up champ, back to the drawing board next week against Austin, who's also coming off a loss.

Mike 173.7 - 122.5 Garrett

Do I want to see Garrett be successful? Well no not really you all know how much I'm a fan of the parity we have in this league, but given how bad his draft was it would be kinda fun. What I do NOT want, however, is to see him get so demolished by Mike of all people. Mike put the ball in Drake Maye's hands and despite missing out on 45 points from Jared Goff, Maye handled the pressure just fine. 30 points for the Carolina boy to compliment a 37.7 spot from Malik Nabers was more than enough to pick up the slack from Derrick Henry. Hell even his kicker broke 20. Big game for Mike. Despite the L, Garrett still needed production from Baker Mayfield to secure a Top 5 point and salvage the week. But Baker couldn't quite bring home the cake this weekend, as Garrett's 122.5 fell 0.04 points behind Jake for the final Top 5 spot of the weekend. That's 1 single passing yard, 0.04 points. Hope that haunts you Gare Bear.

Collin 107.08 - 95.82 TK

I wouldn't usually put such a low-scoring game this low (if you guys didn't know, I like to order the reacps from least to most interesting matchups), but this game really came down deep into the depths of... well... this morning. Collin just had to toss and turn last night, maybe waking up every 20 minutes or so to check the box score, hoping that Brock Bowers and Jakobi Meyers didn't combine for more than 30 points to complete the comeback for TK. Well he woke up happy. They only combined for 21.6 and Collin avoids the 0-4 start by scraping out a win over the man that I JUST ASKED TO BE FOR REAL THIS YEAR. He's doing it to spite me, I know. Collin turns to face Jake in a matchup of mid-tiers, while TK will try to refocus and reenergize against Ryan, coming off a big win.

Ryan 161.2 - 160.0 Austin

And speaking of! This game was 153.2-156.5 going into the last game. As I mentioned, I did not watch that nonsense your boy has an entire job to worry about, but it was Cameron Dicker the Kicker tasked with outscoring Omarion Hampton by 3.3 or more. Well Dicker only managed 8 points, but Hampton's quiet night didn't stir the Bolick household. Ryan woke up to the win and can write a nice little thank you note to Rome Odunze (31.8) and Amon-Ra St. Brown, the highest scoring starter of the week with 39.2 points. Lamar was up there too, 34.3 to Austin's campaign, but Austin doesn't get the H2H win and emerges 1-1 on the weekend.

Power Couples

Here we go, this may be a little cleanier/easier to see. 2 weeks in, lots of ball left boys!