NEGATIVE SCORE ALERT! A negative score in the starting lineup?? Who would do that?? What fool, what jester of a man, would be so ignorant as to allocate a starting roster position to lose points from it? Well, as if I needed any other reason to want to throw my entire team and then myself off a bridge, it was me, your fearless and normally very respected and admired leader.

But look, negative scores happen, and the silver lining is this is a flimsy excuse to do the first little analysis of the year! Lets take a look back at some negative scores, shall we?

Negative Scores in the Starting Lineup

This league has had plenty of negative performances. Entering the week, we’ve seen 65 negative scores from the starting rosters since 2018, and an additional 45 from the bench. Now, the overwhelming majority of those 65 come from defenses, no real surprise there. Only 11 have come from kickers, with the other 13 coming from position players. How do we stack up as a league in starting these absolute worthless sacks of shit?



Austin, tsk tsk, naughty boy. 10 times. Just shoddy management if you ask me. But hey, not all negative games are created equal. Who has been the most impacted, cold hard points, by the negative performances?



Nathan… what? Last year the 49ers defense went negative in back to back weeks, and in 2021 the Jets defense went negative in 2 out of 3 weeks. Nathan, steadfast and loyal, didn’t opt to drop the defense after it cost him points in either situation. I guess that’s… admirable? I mean he won the league so hey whatever. I’d be remiss if I didn’t shoutout Ryan, who got a -5 spot from Jared Goff in 2018. Would you believe Ryan won the league that year? Well… don’t. He finished in last.

Well that was fun, wasn’t it? Onto the recaps!

Recaps

Garrett 106.72 - 87.54 Tyler

CeeDee leaving the game before putting up any points and the Bills opting to let a make-a-wish QB play untouched all game spells an L for Tmo, who drops down to 3-3 on the season. Just no stars, man. Kyren salvaged his performance by finding the endzone, but otherwise just a lackluster showing. Garrett really didn’t pop off either, but 24 from Garrett Wilson to compliment some strong performances from Baker (lmao remember when you lost the Top 5 last week by 1 single passing yard) and the Seahawks defense was more than enough to earn the W this week. Garrett’s going on a bit of a rollercoaster this year, but he’s currently on the upwards part at 4-2 leading into a game vs a strong Austin team.

Jake 117.14 - 145.52 Colling

When will I learn to just STOP. USING. ATLANTA. KICKERS. Hey, Jalen Hurts (34) and Devonta Smith (20) finally starting connecting, and Pickens put up 17.8 despite Dak being basically useless. In a game I wasn’t going to win, I’ll take that. Like Collin’s defense put up 34, what do I do with that? CMC with another 24, oddly the low spot for Collin was the newly acquired JaMarr Chase, who didn’t have many chances with the Bengals giving the ball to the Vikings at every possibly opportunity. Collin got a much-needed win to pull back to 3-3 and look to start from a clean slate moving into his game with John Luke, who he’s beaten in all of their last 5 meetings.

Austin 137.22 - 95.36 Nathan

Nathan and Tmo were kindred spirits this week. Same story, different roster. Just no studs. Drake London even getting 10 from the Falcons dreadful outing is fortunate, but RB1 and RB2 combing for 12.9 is just not going to cut it, especially not against an Austin team that has basically robbed the league this season with slimy trades last year. Austing got 20+ outings from AJ Brown and Puka Nacua, and the matchup was well in the bag before Lamar even took the field on Monday night. Nathan is on a bit of a spiral, dropping down to 1-5 on the season, but he’ll go against another spiraling team in TK so there’s hope yet.

TK 118.42 - 128.22 Ryan

This one was the fairly interesting entering Monday night. Trailing by 4, Ryan needed Amon-Ra to shine and outscore the Ravens kicker (which, if you all recall, was the same boat Austin was in last week and lost). TK had a great start to the week on Thursday when Josh Allen and James Cook combined for over 51 points, but the Sunday lineup fell flaccid and Ryan managed to claw his was back on the back of a 25.6 game from Jordan Mason. Another 20 burger from the Sun God was more than enough to lock Ryan into the win and push him up to 4-2 on the season, just in time to face the MEAT GRINDER that is... Jake. Oof boys this is going to be a tough few weeks. Its also safe to say that by giving TK even an ounce of credit in Week 1 I've effectively doomed him to miss the playoffs. My bad man.

Mike 121.42 - 149.92 John Luke

There you go JL, that’s what the people have been waiting for. Caleb Williams (37.12) pop off king, Jonathan Taylor (34.8) still cooking, who needs Chase Brown to do anything (the Bengals man… disasters). Now, this game was still pretty alive headed into MNF, Derrick Henry would need to outscore Gibbs by 12 for Mike to pull off the comeback, very doable. Well somehow despite a million points being scored, Derrick Henry had a second straight week of subpar production and couldn't sniff the production he needed to match 27 points from Gibbs, and JL locked in the big win to find himself out of last place just one week after being 0-4.

Power Couples

Collin and Garrett, look at that. Collin, you're a few weeks away from owing our friend here a pretty serious apology.