Ahhh back to winning ways and back to my Tuesday publish dates. Sometimes all you need is a holiday, thanks Chris. No dilly dallying today, let's jump right in!

Recaps

Collin 125.86 - 107.34 Ryan

Look I like to think I'm a just, fair commissioner. I put things to a vote, and I try to make things enjoyable for everyone. We have a lot of parity here, and its good. So I trust you all understand the inner turmoil I have when, year after year, I march Ryan out to play Collin and he just gets blasted over and over. NINE straight regular season losses. Ryan's child hasn't seen his father beat Collin in the regular season in his entire life. Feels like I haven't either. Like, am I the bad guy for subjecting Ryan, and indirectly the rest of us, to this chronic torture? I'm not sure, need to do some soul searching.

Tyler 110.56 - 80.70 TK

Wow the first edition of this year's Tyler Bowls was a bit of a toilet bowl huh? Coming in a combined 5-15 and not exactly a barn-burner of a matchup. But Tmo came out on top this time, somehow, to salvage a bad score into a 1-1 week (plus, perhaps most importantly, earning a win for our sweet sweet coupling). And speaking of our coupling, next week Tmo will roll over in bed and face his partner, Jake, in the first of the matchups between partners. Something of "lovers' quarrels" if you will. I'll mark those special somehow, to be determined. Those games will NOT count towards the overall Power Couples records, of course.

Austin 122.14 - 125.74 Mike

I didn't really think Austin had a chance going into this one, but after Bijan's monster 1st half on MNF there was a glimmer of hope. Logic prevailed, though, and Mike closed out the game with the win and a Top 5 point. Drake Maye, all of yours beloved UNC graduate, has been kind of tearing it up for the Patriots and landed 33.24 points to Mike's campaign, plus another 30.2 from Smith-Njigba made up for an otherwise "meh" week from the rest of the lineup. The win is big for Mike, as he sits right neck-and-neck with Collin and Austin for the top spot in the league entering his game against Ryan.

Jake 145.52 - 79.14 Garrett

Hmmm.... should I? Garrett and I go way back, and I'm 13-8 all-time against him after this week. I suppose there's some tenured respect to be earned there, right? THAT BEING SAID, Garrett did bail on the Texas trip, and Austin and I spent our pillow-talk time yearning for his presence over the last season of Breaking Bad, so I feel like he's earned some smoke.

Garrett... you have 115 regular-season losses. The next highest is Ryan with 103. Ryan could literally not touch his team for the rest of the year, auto-draft next year, and not touch it again for 2026, and there's a legitimate chance you're still in last place for all-time losses. That's not just bad, that's a career of sustained poor play. "Oh but Jake he's won a championship!!" Stop living in the past yall, we live in there HERE and the NOW.

Nathan 174.48 - 90.58 John Luke

Nathan, ugh, congrats on your stupid little top payout. Thank Drake London's (31.8) ball-hog ass for that (I say that as Bijan Robinson literally had a million yards last night). Patrick Mahomes with a crispy 37.5 also certainly doesn't hurt. It's Nathan's first top score of the 2025 campaign, and in 6 weeks we have 6 unique top scorers. Yall I am LOVING the parity here, like I couldn't ask for better. I thought JL had turned a new leaf last week agaisnt Ryan, but maybe I was wrong. If it makes you feel better John Luke, you're about to play the man with ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN losses, so maybe you'll have another shot to turn that new leaf?

Power Couples

Dammit Collin can you stop winning and give us a chance to catch up to you and Garrett.