Your Week In Review

Wow boys, sometimes there are just weeks where you look back and know that you'll remember it for the rest of your lives. This past weekend is certainly one of those, especially for one long-standing member of our league. It was an honor to be a part of the ceremony, and amazing seeing everyone leading up to it. I'd like to once more offer a big congratulations to ME for a massive win over former-first place team and bitter rival Austin. Hearing Mike say "It's Austin Hate Weeeeekk" as I was walking away from the Michigan State watch party may have been a top 3 moment in my life.

All jokes aside, Mike for real congrats on the wife and you can make her a co-signer on your team whenever. Mike's wedding was one of many significant moments this weekend, surpassed perhaps only by the fact that Garrett went to bed Friday night with a clean jacket. There are a couple more things to talk about before the recaps, all exciting, let's do it!

Much Matrimony

Along with Mike's wedding, this weekend featured three matches between couplings, including the two most recently married men, Mike and TK. TK... to say you're so back would be an understatement, but we'll get to that. Collin took care of business vs Garrett, and Ryan and Nathan at least made it a fight into Monday night, but now only one matchup between partners remains. John Luke and Austin will face off next week to round them out. After that, we have our Gut Check week. Originally, gut check games were NOT going to count for the Power Couples standings, HOWEVER, if it turns out that no partners play each other in the Gut Check, then I WILL count them towards the Power Couplings standings. Basically I just want to make sure every group has played the same number of games. Unless there's some pushback against that, that's the plan (but of course I'm happy to hear any motions brought to the floor).

How Can This Week Get Any Better??

Boys. I have the news of the CENTURY for you all. It will be, without a doubt, the best news you'll hear all day, almost certainly all week, most likely all month, and potentially all year. Grab a glass of water, take a deep breath, find your center. I'll give you a minute...



Ok... here we go. As you may or may not know I have had something of a white whale, a treasure that drove at me to find, but always eluded my grasp. Well I come to you all today, BEAMING with pride, to let you all know that I've finally captured my white whale. Its here, its magic, and its never, EVER going away. Years of digging, staring into the starry horizon hoping for a chance, a sign, a moment to hold onto, and at long last I have it.

I'm speaking, of course, of the player data from before 2018. That's right. I have, per person per week, almost ALL of the player data for all players going back to 2011, when we were just babes, fresh off our mothers' milk. What data, you ask? In 2011, Tom Brady put up 44 points for TK in Week 1 by throwing for 517 yards and 4 touchdowns. Peyton Manning is officially the holder of the greatest season of all time, and the greatest game of all time. I have THAT level of data, for almost every single game, EVER. I could cry.

If you all wander on over to the Stats page, or your personal pages, or the Players page, or wherever else, you'll see that you now have player data for ALL seasons. There were a few minor hiccups, I didn't get kicker stats, just their scores, and sometimes defenses just didn't exist, but all in all I could not be happier with the outcome. Take a walk down memory lane and go back to see the wonderful years that we thought we'd lost, direct to your screen in technicolor.

Where Do We Go From Here?

"But Jake! Without your Moby Dick what will be the fire of inspiration that keeps you herding us, your humble flock, into the future?" Rest easy, my sheep. There is always room for improvement. I still have to do the following things before I truly consider this website complete, and reach a point of being to my liking each week. Those enhancements-to-come include:

• Beefing up the Owner-Season pages, Player pages, and more to have more fun stats and views that capture our deep, prestigious league
• Finishing the newsletter archive from previous website iterations (remember the Google Site? Or the Wordpress? Still gotta bring those bad boys over so we have it all in one place)
• Improving UI and layout, making it a straight up professional looking ordeal
• Finding that DAMN kicker data to fill out the gaps

So sleep tight, the league remains in good hands until you all tire of me and want to elect a new commissioner, Garrett did mentioned he wanted to throw his hat in the ring?

Recaps

Ryan 117.0 - 104.06 Nathan

This was maybe the most middle-ground matchup we'll have all year. Neither team really had a true ringer in the mix (save Mahomes on Monday night), Amon-Ra and Trey McBride were both on Ryan's bench and the only other top-10 position player was Chris "I boycott playing for Jake" Olave for Nathan. The scores reflected this lineup, both teams failing to earn Top 5 points and Ryan walking away with the win to put both teams at 7-9 on the season. The win does pull Nathan into a tie in the all-time series with Ryan at 6-6, a not-often-dicussed but very competitive series between a pair of players that combined own half of the champinships since 2021.

John Luke 123.6 - 101.42 Tyler

Tmo man I just need SOMETHING from you here. I want to feel as bad for you as I do for myself, but then I read this: and I have a hard time really feeling sorry. But no yeah super cool that you beat me last week just to throw up... this at John Luke. Now is my time of year where I challenge the sanity of anyone starting Dak Prescott (how this man has been on 3 of the last 4 championship teams will never make sense to me). Also brother the Falcons were missing like 3 starters on defense!! bb what is you doin?? Granted JL is starting Caleb Williams which is objectively worse, but it feels more out of need than out of choice. John Luke can thank Jonathan Taylor's 39 points for the big win that pulls him back to .500 on the season and keeps him in the mix of playoff talk. The loss comes at a bad time for Tmo, as he's already banged up and now has to turn to face Collin, the top team in the league. Tmo, LOCK IN.

Collin 126.28 - 111.48 Garrett

Garrett's team should be so much better than it is. Baker has been so clutch, Saquon is Saquon, Javonte Williams is a top-5 RB. But the stars just aren't aligning for him, and he suffers another loss in a week outing vs Collin this weekend. How are you going to let Chris Boswell be your 2nd-highest scorer this week?? Collin actually had a somewhat down game for him, but it didn't make a difference against Garrett. Ja'Marr Chase has, after a couple down weeks post-trade, been basically the only player the Bengals try to throw to, and Achane is maybe the best PPR merchant RB in the league, the Dolphins just feed him. Now that their showdown is complete, Garrett and Collin have two jobs: win and win. Win vs the rest of us to make the playoffs, and win vs the rest of us to keep their Power Couples lead, which I remind you all is worth $75 EACH at the end of the regular season. Everyone else... lets take these clowns down.

Mike 130.68 - 164.48 TK

No question about it, TK is back and here to stay. Sitting at 4-12 with 7 games left, 18-12 is very much still on the table. With Josh Allen and James Cook dealing like they do, its almost a lock. Garrett would bet on it in a heartbeat. TK also currently has the most money earned this season, despite being in last place. How much fun is that? Mike, don't feel bad. 30+ from Drake Maye and some fine showings across the roster, these games just happen. It's simply bad luck that you hit TK right as he activated terminator-mode. Both these teams are headed into big matchups though. Mike turns to Nathan for the only Merritt-Bowl we'll have this season unless they repeat the next week in Gut Check, while TK turns to Jake, who also lit up the scoreboard this weekend. Both of them need to start winning to close the gap in Power Couples.

Jake 163.16 - 122.92 Austin

Oh BABY. DAMN this one is sweet. Like apple pie, like chocolate cake, like flipping off Austin and his dad again. "Ohh look at me I got extra top picks and was a weasel" man... boys... imagine not beating the guy who got an F from ESPN within SECONDS of the draft being over, despite having like 8 picks in the first 3 rounds. Jalen Hurts, QB2 and my KING, with 33 points. Michael Pittman and Devonta Smith my top-10 WR KINGS. My 11 KINGS on the Bucs defense. My court is full of KINGS. I didn't get the top weekly payout but honestly the win over Austin is worth more to me anyways, happy to let the SO BACK TK take it instead. Save some very specific results next week, this will be the only time Austin and Jake meet in the regular season this year, so I hope you all enjoy almost 2 whole years of Austin having 0 wins against me. I hope you all bring it up to him as much as you can. I may rent a billboard near his house, not sure yet. Just. Pure. Perfection. Yall wanna know the best part? Rashee Rice came back and put up 25.5 on MNF but Austin still missed a Top 5 point by 0.68 to John Luke LMAO.

Power Couples

Not a ton of movement this week. Most of yall were playing partners, and JL/Austin and Jake/Tmo split thier series. We'd better not let Garrett and Collin run away with this...