TK

TK gets the kiss of death from ESPN by getting selected for first, and ESPN is hilariously bad at predictions. Look guys TK's core group, should they stay healthy, is going to be elite, we all know that. Jefferson is elite, Mixon is poised to actually have a stud, potentially RB1 year, and Mahomes is Mahomes. It's after that where I start to have my doubts. Miles Sanders went from Eagles production and talent, to Panthers production and talent. That alone decimates his potential. T.J. Hockenson is an injury liability that only averaged about 14 PPG last year, so a 5th round seems high. I do love James Cook in the 6th round, I think he could easily wind up a top-5 RB on the season. Then of course if Garrett Wilson can produce that will round out a good WR corps for TK, but that's about it. TK went for the safe strategy here, which could pay off for him and bring home his 2nd trophy, but 1-2 injuries and TK will be crushed by his lack of real depth.

Ryan

Ekeler first? Sure, great pick, easy 20 PPG. Davante Adams 2nd? Also fine, we'll see if he keeps the production up but of course he's elite talent. Josh Allen at 3rd I think will wind up being a bit of a stretch. Not that I don't think he'll be good, but there are enough strong fantasy QBs that taking him so early was a bit of a waste. After that I really don't love Ryan's team. Stacking up your WR2 as Keenan Allen after already having Ekeler hinges a lot of production on a spotty Chargers offense, and picking anyone on the Cardinals to every do anything remotely positive is usually a bad bet (still salty about Kyler Murray's bum-ass ripping too many double XP weekends on Warzone). And the cherry on top, taking a kicker in the 11th? And an average one at that? Come on Ryan, you're better than this.

Mike

This feels like low-hanging fruit... but I genuinely think Mike had the worst draft of the night. CeeDee Lamb has talent but has to share passes with Tony Pollard and Brandin Cooks from a mediocre (he's trash and it's time we admitted it) Dak Prescott. Najee Harris has also just generally not been a good RB, I don't really get where the hype comes from. Over his career he's averaged 15 PPG, that's not nothing but also not what you'd expect from a hyped-up RB in his prime. Ridley is a good pick, the Jags will probably (hopefully??) have to throw 70 passes per game and Ridley will get the plurality of that. After that it's just bad. Fields is hot air, Dionate Johnson is past his prime, and Javonate Williams is a fucking moron that couldn't get me 0.2 points in 5 minutes of garbage time last year. Mike, pack it in buddy.

Collin

I actually like Collin's team. Jaylen Waddle is going to lead the Dolphin's receiving corps that's spread out enough to force defenses to provide openings. Jonathan Taylor is a bit of a question mark, but if he stays in Indianapolis (which he wants to) then he won't have to spend time learning the playbook and adjusting to a new team. Of course keeping Pollard for a 7th round pick is an amazing pull, but my gripe with Collin's team is Tyler Lockett. The man is about to turn 31 and is close to falling to WR3 behind Smith-Njigba (who Collin also got), he's only trending downward. I do think getting a solid 2nd-tier TE in the 9th is a good get, TE's are at a premium and he's just good enough to warrant a 7th-ish round pick. Collin may not be a lock yet, but it wouldn't raise any eyebrows if he made the playoffs with this team.

Austin

ESPN has Austin projected to finish 5th, or "mid", which is not only an accurate team prediction but also a great analogy for who Austin is as a person. Rhamondre Stevenson in the 3rd round? Can anyone tell me the last time a Pats RB was worth taking in the 3rd round, like ever? But Breece Hall is less than a year removed from an ACL and is playing second-fiddle to Dalvin Cook, who Austin also took in the 9th round, so he jumped Stevenson for worst pick of Austin's draft. Chris Godwin is also going from Brady at the helm to... Mayfield? Trask? Two guys famous for being irrelevant. I did think keeping Hurts was a good call because it was supposed to let Austin focus on his RBs/WRs with a tier-1 QB locked in, but that clearly didn't work for him.

John Luke

I'm giving John Luke a D but I could be (and very often am) dead wrong. But a rookie RB on a trash team as your first pick is just too bold. Trending-downward Lamar as your 3rd pick? Too bold. Gambling on Deebo to right the ship and start producing again? Bold bold bold. I work for a bank John Luke I'm not allowed to celebrate risk. I do think Christian Watson is a really good player and could be a top-10 WR this year, so getting him in the 5th is a solid pick. Honestly looking at JL's team I almost like his backup lineup better than his starters. The plus side for John Luke here is that he's got depth, because none of his starters are really good enough to be irreplaceable.

Garrett

Yall am I all-in on Garrett's team? My dude may as well have auto-drafted but his team really isn't that bad, in fact it's pretty good. Cooper Kupp is cash, Travis Etienne will be the feature back on an electric Jags offense, Higgins will be a playmaker when Chase pulls the stronger CBs in coverage, and Kenneth Walker III is going to improve to 16+ PPG in his sophomore campaign. Garrett, maybe just don't ever prepare for anything and you'll just fall upwards into greatness? I'm pretty sure that's what Mike has been doing since like 3rd grade and he seems to be doing fine. The only thing I hate about Garrett's team is the lack of QB. Dak is not the answer Garrett, and you should try and go big on a QB off of waivers before it's too late. I will also trade you Deshaun Watson for Kupp or Etienne, just saying.

Jake

Look at this hot fire that I'm sitting on and tell me I'm not stuntin on all you peons right now. Diggs? Dog. Barkley? Dog. Aaron Jones? Absolute DOG. Amari Cooper is about to catch 2,000 yards from Deshaun Watson and Rachaad White is the undercover RB1 on the year. To top it all off, TLaw is on a high-flying offense and he'll drop 50 TDs minimum this year. Do I give myself an A+ every year? Yes. Am I wrong every year? Yes. Will this year be different? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT WILL BE READ EM AND WEEP LOSERS THIS IS THE YEAR BABY.

Nathan

Nate man honestly not a bad draft. Everyone knows I'm a sucker for Nick Chubb, and Josh Jacobs could easily have a bounce-back season in Vegas, so Nathan's RB corps could top the league. Frankly DK and Amon-Ra could be the best WR corps in the league too. Great draft right up until round 9, Thielen may be Carolina's WR1 but he's also 33 and Carolina is also horrible. Taking a kicker in the 10th is crazy, and putting all your QB chips into Rodgers on a new team is a big risk, but it could pay off. This could be the year Nathan finally makes the playoffs behind a solid, productive lineup, and he really needs to because he's the only one in the league to not make the playoffs in the last four years.

Tyler

ESPN nailed this one. Tyreek Hill will not be WR1 quality, bank on it. Jahmyr Gibbs in the 3rd round isn't even funny it's just sad, and Alexander Mattison will be on waivers by week 6. Tmo finally righted the ship a little with Waller in the 5th and Herbert in the 6th, but the damage was long done by then. Tmo had the absolute audacity to ask me why I drafted a backup QB in the 11th round when the round before he picked up some motherfucker named Zach Charbonnet. Hey Tmo, why don't you worry about your 12-18 record over the last two years (23-37 if you also count Top 5s) before you worry about my backup QB, you gremlin.