Four weeks in, now is the time when teams can be truly assessed and looked at holistically, rather than knee-jerk reactions from one-off booms or busts. Something that I think would be fun is to look at teams ranked by the average position rank of their starting lineup. So basically, I take the top position (QB, 2x RB, 2x WR, 1 TE, and 1 Flex) ranks of available players off the entire roster (including players that were benched this past weekend) and take an average of ranks. For the sake of being fair, I'm not including defense or kickers because of how much mobility those positions have. So, how does it look?

Also I'm typing this at 7 on Monday night and I'm definitely not going to update it for after the game so yeah who knows what'll happen to it after Raiders-Chargers. I'm not motivated enough to update it morning-of.

Entering Week 4

Well, I don't think there' too much to leave up to interpretation there. I'm elite, Ryan is too somehow, and Austin, Nathan and Tyler are all both incontinent and impotent. John Luke was actually pretty highly ranked until a big dropoff with Cole Beasley tanked his average (without Beasley he was sitting at 7.0). Garrett's lack of TE game really hurt him, Jonnu Smith's 28th place inflated his average from 9.3 to 12.0, but otherwise the ranks were generally stable. Granted, these ranks include people like Gronk (hurt) and CMC (hurt) so they have to be taken with a grain of salt, but I can confidently say Ryan, see you in the championship bitch.

Alright, that's enough useless stats for the day. How about them standings huh?

Standings

Recaps

JESUS people literally not ONE game was finished by Monday?! That means I can't do these freaking things until Tuesday morning UGH I really need you guys to do better for me. Ok rant over.

John Luke 112.72 – 92.42 Austin (63.6)

Not really impressive outing from either side here. JL had a great outing from Mahomes, who threw for 5 touchdowns and 278 yards for 40 points. That, coupled with a 21 point outing from Najee Harris was just about enough to put the nail in the coffin for Austin, who drops his third straight after his huge week 1 win against Mike. The weird thing is at first glance Austin doesn't look like he had a bad week. 16.8 from Fournette, 15 from Ridley, another 16 from Amari Cooper, none of those are bad, but I'll be damned if his score didn't just shape up to be dogshit. John Luke climbs to 3-1 and, despite the down week, stays keeps up pressure on the top of the leader board.

Jake 147.56 – 119.62 TK (68.6)

Jake managed to mess up his lineup and still win comfortably this weekend. Leaving two 34 point games from Jalen Hurts and Cordarrelle Patterson on the bench fortunately didn't cost Jake a win, thanks primarily to a monster game from DJ Moore (31.9) and David Montgomery's 24-point outing. Logan Thomas tried his hardest, mind you, by leaving after like two freaking snaps never to return, but his sabotage attempted proved fruitless. Jake hands TK his first loss on the year, just one week after I claimed TK was making a case for the playoffs. What shot TK had left to win this game simmered away when Chris Godwin only managed 8.5 points on Sunday night in Foxborough, putting it all but out of reach for Darren Waller on Monday. Jake, with both a win and a top 5 point this week, doubles his points total to four and looks like a new team since the 0-2 start, while TK needs to regroup next week against John Luke to retain his high spot in the standings.

Tyler 108.52 – 96.74 Collin (76.3)

Maaaaaannnn what a weak win. Tmo got away with winning on 108 point smh. He didn't get a top 5, obviously, but escaping that performance with any points is fortunate for Tmo. Kyler (26.62) did fine, and Edwards-Helaire put up 21 tof the cause, but the dropoff from there is steep. Also, shoutout to Tmo for snagging the Bengals D with a waiver pick that negated mine, dodged that bullet. Even Tmo's bench was garbage. He just got lucky to run into Collin, who is objectively a top-to-bottom better team, during a low-production week for D'Andre Swift (UGA legend) and Kyle Pitts (Florida... player). Really disappointed in both of yall. Shape up.

Nathan 125.72 – 148.18 Mike (82.5)

The Brother Bowl was more like sibling bullying than friendly competition. Mike raked in 35 points from Deebo Samuel, Jonathan Taylor and Zeke both earned 22, and Corey Davis rounded it out with 21 from the flex position to bury Nathan and jump him in the standings. Nathan had an okay game, but 28 points from Joe Burrow wasn't enough to make up for a dismal 0.3 points from Myles Gaskin. Nathan picked up Kenneth Gainwell a couple weeks ago off the waivers, but decided to forgo his 20.9 points for 3.3 from CeeDee Lamb. Honestly Nathan's just had awful lineup management this week, with only 64% lineup efficiency (compared to Mike's 97% this week). Nathan would have the distinct honor of being in last place, but Austin has graciously taken that mantle from him for now.

Ryan 140.66 – 139.7 Garrett (83.7)

This was, by far, the funniest outcome possible. Garrett had a 99% chance of winning, down only 3.06 points entering MNF with Mike Williams, who had averaged 25.8 PPG through the first 3 weeks, to play. Williams even got a quick 2.1 points in the first quarter, but then didn't see a catch for the rest of the game despite being wide freaking open and getting overthrown by Herbert aka Mike. Garrett's projected win percentage just crept down and down until the clock hit 0 and Ryan had managed to hold on for the win. The win and top 5 point launched Ryan to the #1 spot, breaking a points tie with TK and Collin by having the highest PPG, but Garrett didn't leave empty-handed. Garrett, despite the loss, still earned a top 5 point and actually climbed 2 spots to #6. Still though... pretty histarical that Garrett lost this game, and he is crowned the Atlanta Falcons "Snatch Defeat From the Jaws of Victory" Award Winner this week.

Previews

Garrett (1-3, 126.3 PPG) – Nathan (1-3, 110.7 PPG)

Series: Garrett 2 – 1 Nathan

All-Time Points: Garrett 333 – 302 Nathan

Last Meeting: Garrett 80 – 70 Nathan

Win Streak: Garrett 2

Mike (1-3, 117.5 PPG) – Jake (2-2, 131.1 PPG)

Series: Mike 11 – 8 Jake

All-Time Points: Mike 2,368 – 2,262 Jake

Last Meeting: Mike 97 – 131 Jake

Win Streak: Jake 1

Austin (1-3, 116.5 PPG) – Collin (3-1, 131.8 PPG)

Series: Austin 1 – 2 Collin

All-Time Points: Austin 332 – 355 Collin

Last Meeting: Austin 135 – 103 Collin

Win Streak: Austin 1

Ryan (3-1, 152.5 PPG) – Tyler (2-2, 119.3 PPG)

Series: Ryan 4 - 5 Tyler

All-Time Points: Ryan 906 – 991 Tyler

Last Meeting: Ryan 122 – 121 Tyler

Win Streak: Ryan 1

TK (3-1, 146.9 PPG) – John Luke (3-1, 134.2 PPG)

Series: TK 8 – 11 John Luke

All-Time Points: TK 2,367 – 2,384 John Luke

Last Meeting: TK 100 – 106 John Luke

Win Streak: John Luke 1

Cash money

Congrats Mike, your misfortune has turned around juusstttt enough to pull you out of the cellar and earn you a quick payday. Enjoy.

Running Total

Austin: $10

Ryan: $10

TK: $10

Mike: $10

Trivia

Last Week’s Trivia

This week Josh Allen scored 47 points. Since 2019, 8 players have scored 50 points or higher in a single game. Which player has the highest single-game points scored?

I got just under half you fucks to participate, which is simultaneously better than I expected and disappointing, but I don't care. I'll keep it up.

Your answer is Tyreek Hill, who scored 57 points of week 12 last year for Garrett off 13 catches for 269 yards and 3 touchdowns. Garrett won that game 142 - 85 against Tyler, which means Tyreek Hill was over 40% of Garrett's entire team score that week.

Tyler and Collin both guessed correctly, I suspect Tyler is still scarred from the trauma of this happening to him. TK guessed Aaron Rodgers, who scored 56 in week 7 2019 for Austin, and JL guessed Dalvin Cook, who scored 50 points in week 8 2020 for.... well... Garrett again. He did finish the year #1 so I guess a couple good outings were inevitable.

Trivia Records

I'll keep track of yalls points, don't you worry. I'm not counting the one about guessing PAPG from a couple weeks ago against anyone. Only ones so far are who had highest PAPG per season (Jake) and the one from above.

Collin: 1 (1 time)
Ryan: 1 (1 time)
Tyler: 1 (1 time)
John Luke: 0 (2 times)
TK: 0 (2 times)
Mike: 0 (1 time)

This Week’s Trivia

Everyone wants to be champion, but some people start slower than others. This week has two questions for you, one point available for each question.

1. What's the worst start to a season an eventual champion ever had (strictly in terms of record)?
2. What is the latest in a season that an eventual champion was ever at .500?