You know whats weird? I'm not even mad about this week. Like it was just such a trainwreck for me all-around that I'm sort of cool with it. Lets dive in!

For starters, no clue why my standings box says TK is 2 and Tmo is 1 but sorts them correctly, whatever. It'll come out in the wash. TK IS number one (for the time being, at least) and it only took one week for me to label myself as a "contender" to start scoring like shit and plummet to 6th. I guess I deserve that.

King of the Hill

Oof. Ryan getting his third strike despite scoring 114 is honestly just kicking him while he's down at this point. That's the highest score this season to earn a strike, and only one week before we drop to doling out 2 per week instead of 3. RIP Ryan, but YOU ARE OUTTA HERE. Collin and Jake were the other victims this week, each picking up their second strike.

Recaps

Jake 102.62 - 132.68 Mike

This game came down to MNF, with Jake only needing the Bills defense to outscore BREECE HALL by 12 points (brb going to go die). Look what do you want me to do. Chris Olave came in, fumbled, then dipped. Like what. the. fuck. Calvin Ridley got EIGHT targets and caught ONE ball. Oh well. Overall just not my week but Lamar and Kamara are still my baes. Mike did fine, 20+ from CJ Stroud, Keenan Allen, and D'Andre Swift. It did take him until MNF to secure a Top5 point, so wasn't a total lock week but alls well that ends well. Mike turns his attention to Garrett, who's coming off his 2nd striaght 150+ point game and is making a push for a seeded spot before the upcoming Gut Check. Jake, on the other hand, has John Luke coming to town, who ever since his TALKING TO when he scored 54 points in week 3, has averaged just under 120 PPG and is trying to set things right.

Austin 127.42 - 96.2 Collin

Collin... damn. The last time Collin scored under 90 points was Week 11 of 2020, 3.5 seasons ago. Luckily he avoid that, but he DID put up his lowest outing since Week 1 of last year (91.58 points). Travis Etienne's quick exit was certainly a factor (I feel that Collin) and some uninspiring games from Jake Ferguson and James Conner really just sunk him this week. The loss comes as a real disappointment for Collin, against a team that was 0-10 coming into the matchup averaging under 100 PPG. But hey, Austin made it work this week. Jordan Love (32.62) tore UP the Cardinals for 250+ yards and 4 TDs. Weirdly, the rest of Austin's line up only got 1 touchdown (John Downs), but they collectively put up 461 yards and reeled in 31 catches. So look at that Austin, some life. Now, going into your toilet-bowl game vs Ryan (who did not find as much success as you did this week) you can at least puff your chest out a little bit! Collin, you're sorta like me this week. Take the punch to the chin, brush it off, and get it right before the #1 team in the league in TK enters your house this weekend.

Tyler 121.26 - 114.56 Ryan

And let's just talk about Ryan shall we? yes, he's 0-12. And while its hilarious, this week he maybe doesn't TOTALLY deserve the flak. Not that 114 is a winning score (in fact that score only results in a win about 19% of the time), but Marvin Harrison did leave early without recording points, and Devin Singletary was scratched at 5 PM before SNF. He subs in Doubs and Lockett and he breaks 150. But its just been one of those seasons for Ryan, nothing going right. He was also unfortunate to be matched up against Tmo, but even he had a relatively weak game. Double XP weekend got Kyler, Jordan Mason was held generally in check, just sort of bland outings with the exception of AJ Brown, back from injury and back to putting up 20 burgers. Tyler has a big game against Nathan this weekend, all eyes on that matchup between the teams tied at #2.

TK 121.9 - 118.0 John Luke

Ok TK, here's the deal. You're in the lead. 10-2. Can you handle that pressure? Is Daniel Jones the man you want steering this ship? Kenneth Walker, dawg. Deebo Samuel, dawg. Diontae Johnson, somehow a dawg despite being a Panther. Heavy lies the crown, my sweet summer child. JL (in my head I sometimes refer to this as the Initials Bowl), you have like the opposite problem? NFL defenses are still scratching their heads to figure out how to stop Brock Purdy from dropping dimes (I am too to be honest), but Justice Hall cannot be a starting RB. CMC may be back in a couple of weeks, Pacheco is out for the long haul, you gotta make a move. Tyler Allgeier put up 20 from your bench! Pick up some folks and get it together before its too late, 3-9 is a deep hole but not impossible to dig yourself out of. Get it together.... but maybe one more week to do so yeah?

Nathan 151.6 vs 172.52 Garrett

Yall Garrett had the audacity to text me last night asking me to rip Dak Prescott for his performance. He said, and I quote, "I can't win a title with this horse shit from him". Two things Gare Bear. 1) You put up 172 points... that's more than THREE TIMES what John Luke put up in Week 3 (in case yall forgot). 2) Dak Prescott has been on the last three championship teams (Garrett '23, Mike '22, and Ryan '21). You'd better put some respect on his name. I mean just look at this guy:

That's the rhythmic flow of a champion. Garrett putting up these numbers despite Dak only contributing 1.22 points is honestly wild. 35 from Chris Godwin, 29 from Joe Mixon, another 24 from Cole freaking Kmet?? Damn. Garrett took that "dreamer" label personally and rockets up to the 7-5 club with Jake. Nathan still comfortably got a Top 5 point though, 150+ will usually do that for you. He also saw 4 20+ outings and is honestly has a fantastic shot at making his debut playoff appearance this year. Both of these teams are solid, good work fellas, each of you faces off with one of the league leaders in Tmo over the next two weeks so you'd better keep it up.

Are You Better than the Georgia Bulldogs?

No QB this week made it a hard shot for the Dawgs, clean slate this week fellas, well done.