THAT'S A WRAP
The regular season has come to a close in a thrilling finish. Two men, comfortable in their playoff spots, watched as four men duked it out for the remaining two spots. One other man could simply watch as those above him, just out of reach, were fighting for the shot at glory. Three other men were licking windows in the corner (one of them was licking SUPER hard, too). This week saw a whopping 1,331 points scored, 133.2 per person, which falls in the top all-time for weekly league-wide performances (yall we averaged 146 in 2021 Week 5 wtf). But only two could emerge, and emerge they did. I've been emerged for going on 20 hours now. Before we dive into our playoff preview, we're going to cover some quick admin stuff.
Bank
- Collin: $60
- Jake: $40
- Nathan: $40
- Garrett: $30
- Tyler: $30
- John Luke: $30
- Ryan: $20
- Mike: $20
- Austin: $20
- TK: $10
Challenges
Week 15 Winner
King of the Hill
Nathan
TRADING AND PLAYOFFS
I got a little push back on this, so I want to clarify WHY I'm making this rule via executive decsion. For the non-playoff teams, the season is over. We don't, and never have, considered the consolation bracket a part of the postseason. So the players that were on those teams are, for all intents and purposes, no longer eligible players (for this reason I request that you non-playoff teams don't use the waivers or drop players, which typically isn't a problem but SOMEONE
(Tmo) had to do it last year and it made keepers weird). The playoff teams can continue using the waivers, because their "final" team (for keeper purposes) exists AFTER the playoffs are complete. This is in the rules.
I do not think its a good idea to let non-playoff teams trade away assets that they
essentially no longer own for draft picks next year. A fantasy championship should be earned, not bought, and while all of us (except Collin, snaps to you buddy) did some buying this year, there's a pretty big difference in doing it during the playoffs.
IF there is sufficient support against this, I am a man of democracy and will do the bidding of the league, but until that arises I will be enforcing the rule as I declared it. Thank you and goodnight.
EDIT: Tmo rightly brought to my attention that he was in the playoffs last year and was well within his rights to pick up a player, my mistake. He picked up a player that
Austin dropped as a non-playoff team. I should have figured it was that sneaky little gremlin causing problems as per usual. My sinceriest apologies, Tyler.
IN MEMORIAM
Like any good event, we'll start with a moment to honor those that left us, both conviently named Tyler.
Tyler
Its hard to be sad about this one. You have three championships and two children, that's FIVE equally-weighted senses of joy in your life. Where Tyler
can be sad, however, is how he let the sweet sand of the postseason run so quickly and quietly through his fingers. After week 7 he sat at 11-3, fresh off a 153-point victory against now #3 seed Nathan, and in a great position. The next four weeks, however, would see him go 1-7 and plummet into the middle of the pack. A FYG against Jake in Week 13 followed by a 0-2 showing against John Luke would put him in a tough spot, and even the hugely important 2-0 outing vs #1 Collin this past weekend just wasn't quite enough, and he was ousted via tiebreaker by Garrett for the final seed. A near miss after a hard-fought finish, but Tyler is officially yeeted off the island.
Tyler
This one is easier to be sad about just because he hasn't won a championship since 2011, whereas the guy that replaced him is the reigning champ. We love an underdog story. This Tyler was also off to a hot start, 10-2 after week 6, and was even in pretty good shape late in the season. After week 13 he was 16-10, but a dreadful 1-3 last two weeks couldn't keep him afloat and it's down, down, down into the depths for thee. In particularly heartbreaking fashion, he was even projected to somewhat comfortably beat Jake in the final game, which would have given him a shoe-in to the postseason, but subpar games from Brock Bowers and a huge 22-pointer from the Falcons defense on MNF turned the tide and shut the door on the game. What's crazy is that Ja'Marr Chase and Brock Bowers are both #1 at their positions, on the same team, and yet neither will see the playoffs.
WE ARE (ALMOST) THE CHAMPIONS
Now for the good stuff, the playoff teams and their matchups.
#1: Collin
Playoff Appearance: 4th
Postseason Record: 2-4
Collin, back again are we? 4th straight playoff appearance, but just never quite closing it out. Collin made the championship back in 2021 but lost to Ryan (talk about how the mighty have fallen, sheesh), and in the following years he lost in round 1 both times. Collin has a stacked team ready to make a serious push, though. Josh Allen has been out of control over the past couple of weeks, De'Von Achane is basically the entire Miami offense, and Collin has averaged 135 PPG on his #1 seed campaign. THREE top-10 RBs to compliment Josh Allen is scary. Collin's only weakness (if you can even call it that) is his WR corps, which is still headlined by WR5 Terry McLaurin. Is this Collins year? Or will he play second fiddle once again?
#2: Jake
Playoff Appearance: 7th
Postseason Record: 4-8
I'll spare yall my sob story. My boys are here, ready to go, and I'm not fuckin leaving. This is Jake's first playoff appearance since 2020, where he lost in the championship to Tmo. Unlike TK and Tmo, Jake's playoff path was a slow start and a hot finish. Sitting at 8-8, Jake went 10-4 over the back half of the season, 6-1 of which was H2H results thanks largely in part to QB1 Lamar Jackson doing everything in his power to keep Jake alive. Jake has played the field well, going 4-1 against fellow playoff teams this season, but with a potential groin injury to Alvin Kamara he's going to need to dig deep. Can Jake finally break the glass ceiling and bring home hardware, or will you all have to hear me complain for the next 15 years too?
#3: Nathan
Playoff Appearance: 1st
Postseason Record: 0-0
Nathan! Welcome to the party pal! Losing your playoff virginity, how exciting! I belittle Nathan in jest, the man was elite this year. Finishing with the most points in the season, less than 100 from the all-time record, Nathan was large and in charge for the bulk of the season. A 16-4 start was a little spoiled with a 2-8 finish, but it was still such a huge cushion that even the slow last few weeks couldn't knock him out. Yall know how Collin's got 3 top-10 RBs, well Nathan has 3 top-10 WRs (yes, that includes CeeDee Nathan, don't be dramatic). Nathan and Jake square off in round 1, with the current line dead-even. Can Nathan climb to glory before Jake or Collin, a moment which may kill me? Or will his debut fall flacid?
#4: Garrett
Playoff Appearance: 4th
Postseason Record: 4-2
Thanks to Mike beating TK's score by 2 measley points, Garrett snuck his way into the playoffs for the second consecutive year. In fact, Garrett's four playoff appearances have all come in the last 7 years, following 7 years of never breaking into the postseason. Garrett's record against the rest of the field is... rough though. 1-5 and he'll need to do a hell of a lot better than this past weekend to keep the trophy tucked safely away in his racecar bed, under his Tupac comforter. And while we're talking about RBs, well Garrett's got two of them too. In fact 8 of the top 10 RBs are featured in this postseason, as are 5 of the top 6 QBs. Can Garrett repeat as champion, a feat only ever accomplished so far by Mike? Or will his luck run out?
